Missing a homelessbear

In my last blog I introduced a fourth member of our Homelessbear family; Finley the cat.

 Fiona was just starting to trust him enough to sleep on the chair with him.

Fiona was just starting to trust him enough to sleep on the chair with him.

Well, we are back to a pack of three. Fiona is no longer with us, at least not physically. I feel her with me all of the time. I’ve been putting off writing this blog because I knew I would bawl my eyes out. I was right, here I sit with tears streaming down my face. 

 We got rid of the sofa that came with the house. The love seat hadn't been delivered yet, so the recliners were the only comfy seats in the house. Well, besides the three dog beds!

We got rid of the sofa that came with the house. The love seat hadn't been delivered yet, so the recliners were the only comfy seats in the house. Well, besides the three dog beds!

 Of course there's room for you on my chair, Fi!

Of course there's room for you on my chair, Fi!

 In the fall, we found a couple of girls that I trusted to watch Fiona. A high school girl for short trips, and a friend that just started a house and pet sitting business. Paul and I could actually fly somewhere together and not worry about Fiona. Anyone that knows me, knows that I always worried about Fiona. Fiona loved both of the girls. On our first real trip in years, we flew to Las Vegas to hang out with our friends.

 Me, Paul, Craig, Brent, Lori, and Michele playing oversized games in Vegas.

Me, Paul, Craig, Brent, Lori, and Michele playing oversized games in Vegas.

I came home with a bad cold. A week later Fiona was coughing too. I thought she might have caught it form me and took her to the vet right away.

 At the vet when they thought she might have kennel cough. She didn't even act sick. She had lost weight unexplainably. Now we know why. Cancer sucks!

At the vet when they thought she might have kennel cough. She didn't even act sick. She had lost weight unexplainably. Now we know why. Cancer sucks!

A week later she was coughing up blood. I took her to have tests done at a teaching veterinary hospital a few hours away from home. They were 99% sure it was lung cancer, but treated her for a fungal infection just in case. The only other way to know was to remove her lung. I was not going to put her through that kind of pain.They weren't even sure she would survive the surgery. If she did, it would have only given her another year of life. If it was fungal, she would respond to the medication and start to show signs of improvement right away. When we got home, she only got sicker and sicker. We had to do the hardest thing in a pet owners life and made the decision to have her euthanized. It’s been four months and I cry almost every day. 

 At the hotel in Pullman, in between hospital visits. She got all of the human food she would eat, which wasn't much.

At the hotel in Pullman, in between hospital visits. She got all of the human food she would eat, which wasn't much.

 Laying on Mama on the floor of the hospital waiting room in between tests. I love that freckle face!

Laying on Mama on the floor of the hospital waiting room in between tests. I love that freckle face!

 We slept on the floor together the last night. She had to sit up most of the night to breathe.

We slept on the floor together the last night. She had to sit up most of the night to breathe.

 You know how they say things happen for a reason? Well, we never thought we would have an indoor cat! But, I think the reason he came into our lives was to help us with the loss of Fiona. He has been comic relief, and filled a small part of the big hole in my heart. He’s no Fiona, but I’ll keep him! I try to not get too attached because where we live, cats get eaten by predators all the time. I may take up the sport of coyote hunting, just to be safe!

 My friend, Kathy had this blanket made for me. Memories of happy times!

My friend, Kathy had this blanket made for me. Memories of happy times!

 I always told her she was my angel.

I always told her she was my angel.

 Another friend named Kathy left this surprise on my porch on Christmas. 

Another friend named Kathy left this surprise on my porch on Christmas. 

While we were going through this I got countless messages and comments on my posts updating my friends and family on Fiona's condition. I couldn't reply to all of them at the time. I want to say thank you to everyone for your support. I read every comment and appreciate the outpouring of love for Fiona. She was a special girl. 

 Paul and Finley playing catch. Yes, a cat that plays catch!

Paul and Finley playing catch. Yes, a cat that plays catch!

 He looks fat, but he really isn't. He follows us everywhere. Kind of needy, for a cat!

He looks fat, but he really isn't. He follows us everywhere. Kind of needy, for a cat!

 He's a big help in the kitchen, not!

He's a big help in the kitchen, not!

 After Fiona died, I did my best to keep busy. The cool thing about where we live is even though its a really small community, there is always something to do. 

 At "A Small Town Christmas" event in Ione. You're not the real Santa! You smell like beef and cheese!

At "A Small Town Christmas" event in Ione. You're not the real Santa! You smell like beef and cheese!

 At a Christmas party, I pressed my face in the snow and used a light to make this 3D looking imprint of my face. All the cool kids were doing it!

At a Christmas party, I pressed my face in the snow and used a light to make this 3D looking imprint of my face. All the cool kids were doing it!

 I got to feed an orphaned baby goat at my friends, Shannon's homemade wine tasting party.

I got to feed an orphaned baby goat at my friends, Shannon's homemade wine tasting party.

 We went up to the local ski resort for lunch on Christmas day.

We went up to the local ski resort for lunch on Christmas day.

 Patrizia, Alexa, and me having drinks before the Miranda Lambert concert.

Patrizia, Alexa, and me having drinks before the Miranda Lambert concert.

 Sporting the latest trend in rainy day fashion. I couldn't see Miranda Lambert looking like a drowned rat!

Sporting the latest trend in rainy day fashion. I couldn't see Miranda Lambert looking like a drowned rat!

 I took a trip to Southern California to spend a few days with Jane and Mark, and a week with my mama. Unfortunately, Mama got the flu just before I got there. If I had access to a hazmat suit, I would have worn one! The flu was no joke this winter. I donned gloves and a mask and decontaminated her house. I can’t believe I didn’t catch it, but I was determined! 

 Germs everywhere!

Germs everywhere!

  At the end of fall we bought a smaller used camper. It was exactly what we were looking for. We have a couple adventures planned, so stay tuned!

 A much smaller camper, but it fits our needs.

A much smaller camper, but it fits our needs.

I want to close with some happy Fiona memories. 

 When we first got her. <3

When we first got her. <3

 Playing with her first friends, Joey, FloJo, and Cali at Nancy's house.

Playing with her first friends, Joey, FloJo, and Cali at Nancy's house.

 Playing in the sand, and maybe eating a little.

Playing in the sand, and maybe eating a little.

 This is an Aussie thing. Laying around a corner.

This is an Aussie thing. Laying around a corner.

 Does this tutu make my butt look big?

Does this tutu make my butt look big?

 She always had to find the biggest stickys!

She always had to find the biggest stickys!

 She loved to go bye bye!

She loved to go bye bye!

 Fiona and Millie were like cousins that had to get along. They had a few spats, but some really fun times too!

Fiona and Millie were like cousins that had to get along. They had a few spats, but some really fun times too!

 Fiona always got to sleep with Auntie April!

Fiona always got to sleep with Auntie April!

 Such a happy girl!

Such a happy girl!

 She didn't like me pouring her food out of the bag into containers. I think she thought it was being thrown away. If Paul walked by, she'd nip his butt.

She didn't like me pouring her food out of the bag into containers. I think she thought it was being thrown away. If Paul walked by, she'd nip his butt.

 Her favorite job, getting the socks! She was so proud of herself!

Her favorite job, getting the socks! She was so proud of herself!

 I can feel her love, looking at this photo.

I can feel her love, looking at this photo.

 Fiona and Puppy. Nancy Fairfield got it for her when she was four weeks old and still with her litter. He was her special toy. She went from chewing him open and destuffing him to having me hold him while she humped him. Which is why he spent a lot of time put away. She would cry at the cupboard for some Puppy time.

Fiona and Puppy. Nancy Fairfield got it for her when she was four weeks old and still with her litter. He was her special toy. She went from chewing him open and destuffing him to having me hold him while she humped him. Which is why he spent a lot of time put away. She would cry at the cupboard for some Puppy time.

 Here she is with Puppy at four weeks old. Puppy didn't know what he was in for!

Here she is with Puppy at four weeks old. Puppy didn't know what he was in for!